I ate meat

Confession :
2 Oct 09 - I ate 2 slices of roast duck at night
3 Oct 09 - lunch, I ate 7 slices of roast duck
6 Oct 09 - dinner with a tiny morsel of fried fish - So Good !!
9 Oct 09 - a lil bit of fried vermicelli (mixed with meat, but didn't eat the meat)
11 Oct 09 - chocolate bread
20-21 Oct 09 - Chocolate n cheese bread & Fried vermicelli again
25 Oct 09 - a tiny portion of chicken noodle without the chicken

In my defense :
I was "very good" for 2 months
(Vegan, No rice, flour, sugar, fried food)
and I was "good" for another 4 months
(Vegan, starting lil rice, flour, sugar, fried food)
During those months, I didn't want to "contaminate" my body with meat because all the effort I've made, eating meat would waste all those "clean" months, right ?

Entering month 7, I probably started to lose motivation
I was alone during my Vegan months, I enjoy my Vegan meals, but no one to share it with, except at my blog :) and nobody support my being a Vegan. oohh poor me :) but I'm a tough one :D
and I sometimes feel kinda annoyed of the limited food choice I have when eating out and feel like I'm missing out, not on the food, but on spending time together sharing food at dinner tables.
You know how sometimes the best food is the one you have to fight over with your families/friends, when there's only one thing left on the plate with 5 hungry people staring at it. :)

So I gave in and I finally ate all those things above.
I'm sorry but I honestly totally enjoyed it, No guilt, well maybe a little.
Some part of me felt like I was betraying my Vegan friends and I felt like I failed at being a Vegan but ..... it was okay.
I really really wanted to eat those food.
I'm surrounded with people who eat everything daily, so I guess after a while, just smelling them is no longer enough, (yes I do that)
I guess I missed the taste, I missed the whole eating together experience.
So I ate some of those food along with my usual Vegan food....
and It made me feel happy :)

Will I start eating meat again ?
I don't know, I hope it's not one of those "If you start, you can't stop" thing.
But even if I do, I don't think it's going to be for everyday and I definitely wouldn't want to eat a low quality fatty ones.
Okay that sounds disgusting.... I think I'll stick with Veganism for now :)
Here's an example,
After I ate that chicken noodle (without the chicken), I craved Salmon sushi and Unagi sushi, and I even planned to eat it the next day, but the next day I was at a mall and I was literally in front of the Sushi Restaurant and I didn't want sushi at all. I wanted a bowl of salad instead, and so I did and I felt good.
So there :)

Tips :
Another thing I found, sometimes eating raw salad with minimum dressing can be tough, so I allow myself to mix it with a little fried food.
The crunch and the taste totally made it easier for me to finish that big bowl of salad, and it totally made my eating experience more enjoyable.
The taste was better, although slightly "sinful", but I was much happier eating it and I enjoyed it soooo much and I think that counts for something :)